I do not have a lot of time today, but I wanted to share the following trailer for Tai Chi Zero with you.

And present you with a challenge (I’m talking to you Mr. Moonstool).

This, visually, is fairly normal modern kung fu stuff, just with a Stephen Chow-style comedic edge. The thing that makes the trailer interesting, is how incredibly wrong the voice over is.

Wrong. wrong. wrong. Wrong. wrong. It’s like 50 Shades of Grey being read to you by your grandma wrong. It’s like finding half a worm in your apple during the Holocaust wrong.

I mean, sure. Fighting robots. Devil kung fu. Hottt ninja vixens. Lots of splashy color and people flying on wires and check to all that. If you’re into this stuff, why not like Tai Chi Zero? Except for the fact that it’s being overdubbed by some guy whose last job was selling popsicles in a cigar lounge. His voice is wrong. Every single word out of his mouth is wrong. His intonation makes me want to experiment with trepanning.

Seriously. Watch and listen:

Anyone care to make us a new VO track for this one? I’m fairly certain you can do this film one better. And if you were to, say, make up your own explanations for what appears to be happening on screen how could that possibly hurt?

Right?