Still Bourne
I’m actually fairly disappointed that’s not what this film is called.
Author Archives: Evil Genius
Green Room: In Which Punks Do Not Feel Lucky
I hope to remember to avoid being killed by neo-Nazis, attack dogs, box cutters, or red laces.
Hunt for the Wilderpeople: an Antipodal Tonic for What Ails You
Hunt for the Wilderpeople shows up with little to prove, and proves it anyway, exactly unlike any of the sequels or reboots that have been crowding cinemas of late.
Swiss Army Man Is Mostly Corkscrew
It is, after all, a film about a flatulent corpse. And probably the best one you’ll see all year.
The Unending Horror of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein
This is the worst film I will never be able to forget seeing.
Tickled Is Funny, Isn’t Funny Ha-Ha
Watching you squirm uncontrollably is the point. If tickling alone won’t do it, I’m sure they’ll think of something else.
Independence Day: It Sucks
I can’t wait for Brexit: the Movie. Everyone loves a disaster flick.
Neon Demon: The Eye of the Beholder
Is it truly beautiful or is its beauty manufactured?
Brooklyn, Briefly
It is likely that someone told you that Brooklyn was a good movie. If not, please allow me to.
Chevalier Attempts to Measure Your Manhood
Did you watch Chevalier? Then give yourself +20 points.
What Not to Watch: Fantastic Four
This is a dumpster fire full of other, smaller, dumpster fires.
Captain America: Civil War and the Marvel of Your Mind
This not very good cake is so good I’m going to smash it in your face.
The Jungle Book: O RLY?
We are man-cubs and we are dangerous.
High Rise: All the Enemies Amenities
High Rise was not made to entertain you grungy, popcorn feasting masses.