A Christmas Story, As Reviewed By A 12-Year-Old In 1983
Historical newspaper reprint of a young Supreme Being’s initial foray into film commentary.
What Not to Watch: The Skeleton Twins
Films about suicide should probably try harder to not make you want to kill yourself.
Roar, or: Let’s Get Mauled By Jungle Cats!
Lions and, yes, tigers in Africa terrorize an innocent family whose only crime was to keep 150 pet jungle cats in their house.
The Mule: On the Value of Crap
The Mule is a film about holding onto your shit, in every definition of the phrase.
Avengers: Age of Ultron, In Which No Shawarma Is Eaten
The sequel to The Avengers is otherwise much like its predecessor: kinda witty and fun, kinda boring and explodey.
Welcome To Me: Half Funny, Half Insufferable
Are all talk show hosts mentally unstable narcissists? This one is.
World of Tomorrow, It’s Such A Beautiful Day, And All Things Don Hertzfeldt
A world of large spoons, brain cubes, nefarious balloons, and a doomed future in the bleak and abstract outernet. Fun!
Penguins, Daredevils, Batmen, & Other Flailing Franchises
Audiences are strange. You can chase them, and try to manipulate them. Sometimes that works and sometimes it don’t.
Ex Machina Humina Humina
A science fiction threesome between a sexy robot, a mad genius, and a youthful innocent.
Mind-Control Double Feature #106: Now With Twice the Heroin
Come for the heroin. Stay for the, uh, the heroin? If you can find it? Maybe it’s inside a doll? Seems likely.
SF International Film Festival 58: Your Not Very Official Guide
It’s time for San Francisco’s big ol’ international film festival. I’ve seen a few, and am intrigued by a few more.
Colossus: The Forbin Project, In Which A Supercomputer Gets Wise
In which humans are given yet another lesson on why allowing superintelligent computers to take over the world is a bad idea. Will we never learn?
Can’t Stand Losing You: Surviving The Police Vs. One Train Later
Andy Summers tells tales of life in The Police.
What Not To Watch: The Stuff
Need a movie not to watch? Look no further! The Stuff is gloopy, delicious, and very, very bad for you.