Beware Of Mr. Baker: On The Invention Of The Rock Drummer
In which Ginger Baker, the original madman drummer, is exhumed for our examination. So to speak.
Going Ape #8: Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes
The apes return, and I’m sad to report that it’s less than it’s cracked up to be.
Exodus: Gods and Burger Kings
The first plague is tornadoes. The second is digital hail. The third is running. Fourth is exploding seagulls and fifth is xenomorphs.
Going Back To Back To The Future
One needn’t go very far out on a limb to say that Back To The Future is a fun movie. You could say it without so much as climbing a tree in the first place.
Heathers Holds Up
You can’t change the course of teen culture. All you can do is survive — and pick your friends more carefully.
I Like Two-Lane Blacktop
Do you like it too? Or do you think you might want to like it? Come on inside and we’ll have a nice chat about it.
Going Ape #7: Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes
Rise of The Planet of The Apes is the best Apes movie since Beneath, if not the original. It does what I wish so many other summer movies would do: tell a straightforward story in a brisk 90 minutes centered on a character you care about.
Big Bad Wolves: What a Big Viscera You Have
All the better to void myself in front of you, my dear.
Snowpiercer: Better Than A Poke In The Eye With A Sharp Stick
Snowpiercer’s failing is that it’s simultaneously overwritten and underwritten. It’s a blatant political allegory whose obvious points are muddled and vague. If you can imagine such a thing. And yet…
Mind Control Quiz: Autobots & Decepticons
Are you smarter than an Autobot? Prove it, sucker.
Let’s Spend the Night Together and Film It
Mick looks angry, Keith looks like he’s come to fix the sink, Wood is just joshing, Wyman resembles a cardboard stand-up, and Watts like he’s running sums in his head.
Trapped With Idiots In Room 237
In which a documentary narrated by a number of loons describing their pet theories on what Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining is really about is given some thought.
The Rover Makes Its Bed of Bones
As far as depicting a world gone completely tits up goes, you’d be hard pressed to top the work of Australians.
Going Ape #6: Planet Of The Apes – The 2001 Tim Burton Remake
To call Tim Burton’s ’01 “re-imagining” of Planet of The Apes aggressively awful would be to do it a kindness. I fear no assemblage of words will do the wretchedness of this movie justice. Give a single monkey a single typewriter, a deadline, and a bottle of bourbon, he’d write a movie better than this one.